Spiriteds, everything is broken. Like, really broken. If you were to stop by, you’d see the broken blind in the kitchen, hanging by one corner because sometimes it partially covers the sun glare. You’d also see the laundry strewn about upstairs because our washer, purchased a few months ago to replace the broken one, is now…broken. Then there’s the contraption attached to the toilet handle in the tank. Cracked then snapped. The patio umbrella that shades our full-west exposure? Dunzo. All at once, three specialty lights burned out in our kitchen light fixture, the carpet cleaner died mid-clean, and finally I sent K-Hubs to the home improvement store with the girls and a list of ALL THE BROKEN THINGS. I then obsessed over something else for a brief while, namely this Creamy Avocado Lime Spread.
Our house may be going through growing pains, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy savory goodies. Toodle walked around, surveying all the things that WEREN’T broken, and I admit I almost stopped her for fear of jinxing our luck. But she proved right. More things than not are still working, and as long as your blender isn’t on the fritz, you can make your bad self a batch of this Creamy Avocado Lime Spread.
Also, our lack of luck doesn’t hold up to my Laura Ingalls Wilder litmus test. What’s that, you ask? Well, I stack our misfortunes up to her life experiences and then compare notes. If our experiences of misfortune line up, then I feel it safe to declare full-on pity, complete with party. If not, then I officially have to acknowledge my modern-day privilege and toughen up.
Here’s how it would play out if she and I got together for a chat fest:
We’d break the time barrier, suspend our disbelief, and get together at my broken house, where we’d sit over a bowl of this fluffy spread, talk about K-Hubs and A-Hubs, and I’d share my tales of woe, broken lights first because we’d be sitting in the dark.
- First of all, Morgan, what’s an accent light? Why not just light a candle? Damb it, no pity with a party just yet.
- Broken blind? Here, let me show you how to make a new one. Really, it’s quite simple if you know what you’re doing. We’re new friends. She doesn’t know me well yet. She still thinks I know things because she’s nice like that.
- Broken washing machine? That’s terrible! Ooh, pity party on the way. What did you break, and how can I help? Shall I fetch the doctor? Would you like me to wash your clothes with mine? I’m more than happy to. Why don’t you rest a while? I’ll make us some tea. Fetch a doctor? Wait, she has a washing machine? Cool! Rest? Tea? No, she doesn’t have a washing machine. She IS the washing machine. Damb it. Ixnay on the party-ay.
And then I’d feel so bad, I couldn’t bring up the toilet or the carpet cleaner. Probably also not the umbrella. Her umbrellas were likely trees, that like ours, had to mature over time. Patience is a virtue, and I’m not virtuous. She, on the other hand, is nice and helpful, and just like radio announcers when you meet them in person, is exactly the way I pictured her to be. Because the voices always match the faces. Clearly. I’m not putting her on a pedestal or anything. We’re just BFFs4LYFE.
I’d quickly change the subject and turn her attention back to this delightful recipe I’d secretly want to share with her. But she’d ask me what it’s called, and with mouth full, because manners, I’d mumble, “I don’t know what to call it.”
This is a true statement, even in present day. Creamy Avocado Lime Spread was part of Creamy Avocado Cauliflower Rice. I found the creamy concoction so delightful, even then I wanted to give it its own recipe. Finally, that time arrived, and I couldn’t figure out a name for it.
A few contenders included:
- “That Avocado Dip Thing That is Also a Sauce that is Also a Spread That is Also Full of Garlic and Lime and Other Tasty Accoutrements” – Right, kind of long. And Laura and I are sitting in the dark, so maybe something shorter so as not to strain her eyes as she writes it down.
- “So Good I Scoop It with a Spoon” – True, but Laura might prefer a cracker or a roll.
- “So Good I Lick It Straight Out of the Pan” – Too honest? Should I not confess to Laura I actually do that? Because I don’t, except for the part where I totally do.
Finally, I settled on Creamy Avocado Lime Spread, and, honestly, the taste transcends any name I could imagine. It’s really just that pleasant. Add it, like I did, to Paleo Cauliflower Rice Tacos. Serve it with vegetables, or perhaps in a batch of quinoa. Or just lick the sides of the bowl like I don’t do. If in doubt, then just ask yourself, “What would Laura do?”
- 2 avocados
- ¼ cup olive oil (more if needed)
- ¼ cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped or minced
- 1 tablespoon lime juice
- 2 cloves garlic, pressed
- Sea salt to taste
- Combine ingredients in blender on medium speed until smooth.
- Serve immediately.