Bacon Guacamole {A Delicious Paleo Appetizer}

This gluten-free, grain-free, paleo Bacon Guacamole is a quick and easy-to-make appetizer just waiting to be devoured. 

One word. BACON.

I’m dead over here. Because bacon. I’m dying. Again, because bacon. I am dead AND I am dying. It’s and/both. Bacon does that to me. I kind of forget to breathe. It’s also kind of like parenthood and that time I dropped Twinkle off for her first day of preschool. I started out all chipper and excited for her. And then THE MINUTE she crawled out of the car, put on her backpack, and walked into school, hand-in-hand with the director, I STARTED CRYING. So much so, I had to pull away and take exactly zero pictures of her walking into school. And that preschool incident was actually just two days ago. I literally didn’t see it coming. Kind of like this recipe, I didn’t think I would have such a strong reaction.

K-Hubs (who was crying, too) and I ate this devilish concoction to console ourselves after Twinkle’s first day and our eyes had dried. It worked. We all recovered within 24 hours. I mean, how can bacon make you feel anything other than happy? I suppose terrible if you are allergic to pork, which is a real thing, by the way, because Toodle had a pork allergy for about a year. That wasn’t even bittersweet. It was just plain sad. If I ever write a tragedy, I think I’ll title it The Year Without Bacon.

While we devoured our bacon guacamole, we plopped on the couch and watched a replay of the UCLA/Texas A&M game from the weekend (the Cubs were on, but we had had enough tears for one day). It reminded me of all the times I sat on the couch with Mom while eating dinner. She and I watched Roseanne and Home Improvement. Interestingly enough, Demeter over at The Beaming Baker was just writing about these shows in one of her blog posts. She also mentioned Hocus Pocus, only the best Halloween movie on the planet. And if you are an NCIS fan, then you might think Thackery Binx looks awfully familiar. Well, he should. Just ask Timothy McGee. 

But, seriously, Bacon Guacamole? How have I lived my life thus far without it? And if this is the first you’ve heard of it, then please take a moment to ponder how YOU’VE lived YOUR whole life without it. Quite well, you might answer. Agree to disagree. We can still be friends, however. You can be the even-keeled one. I, on the other hand, refuse to believe I have led a good life without Bacon Guacamole.

I’m not even sure I can go back to regular guacamole now. Probably I’ll start taking a pound of bacon to restaurants with me, in my purse, naturally, adding it to regular, plain ‘ole guacamole.

It may be devilishly good, but as I was making it, I got to thinking just how healthy it is. Aside from the awesomeness that is bacon, this recipe boasts:

• Healthy ingredients such as cilantro, tomatoes, avocado, purple onion, and green onion
• Healthy fats, courtesy of the avocado
• A gluten-free, grain-free appetizer that anyone can enjoy (It also happens to be dairy-free and soy-free)
• The right amount of creamy/crunch factor (which I have come to believe is right up there with other great combos like chocolate/peanut butter, chocolate/almond butter, veggies/dip, and anything with seafood – or bacon)
• A delightfully filling quality – it may be healthy, but you’ll walk away feeling pleasantly full

It also happens to be fairly low maintenance. While I did make a point to finely chop the cilantro, for the other ingredients, I threw them in a large mixing bowl. I simply halved the avocados (if I have a choice, I go for Hass), removed their seeds, and scooped the meat out with a spoon. Nothing fancy. From there I mashed the avocado with a potato masher, but you could also use a fork or two.

Then I added the other ingredients and stirred with a large metal spoon.

We went for a crispy texture for the bacon to add the right amount of crunch. While The Gram fried her bacon to absolute tender perfection, for tis recipe, err on the side of done, done, and more done. The strips should break or crumble easily in your hand if you try (as opposed to tearing).

Did we eat our bacon guacamole with chips? Define “chips.” If by chips you mean additional strips of bacon, then yes, we ate with chips. Did we eat it with a spoon? Again, please define what you mean by “spoon.” If you mean did we eat our bacon guacamole with strips of more bacon, then yes, we ate with a spoon. Sometimes doors close, and God opens a window. This recipe is a window, my friends. It. Is. A. Window.

As fall rolls around, I plan to be eating this while I watch sports, catch up on old episodes of Roseanne and Home Improvement, and watch the Sanderson sisters wreak havoc on Salem on All Hallows Eve. If that sounds like your jam, head on over to The Beaming Baker and see what Demeter has to say!

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